Review in Military History Magazine--Nov. 2007

Band of Sisters: American Women at War in Iraq
Kirsten Holmstedt
Reviewed by Sharon Tosi Moore for Military History Magazine


Kirsten Holmstedt has pulled off two astonishing feats: Not only does she tell engaging stories of service in Iraq without any hint of a political agenda, but she has chosen stories in which the heroes just happen to be women. As she relates the experiences of soldiers, airmen, sailors and Marines and how they react in combat situations, the fact that they are women is largely forgotten.

Books about women in combat generally come with a clear bias, either pro or con, and focus on extreme examples, rarely reflecting the actual experiences of servicewomen. Serv-ing in combat zones alongside their male counterparts is simply what the women in this book do, and they see nothing unusual or groundbreaking about it.

You won’t find tales of command mal-feasance and sexual harassment. Nor do the women downplay the difficulty of penetrating the inner circle and earning the trust and respect of their peers, leaders and subordinates; they just see it as something every new unit member encounters. Except perhaps when trying to use the latrine in the field, these women do not expect special treatment.

Tales range from a young corporal on patrol with Marine recon in Haditha to an Air Force squadron commander flying C-130s. Represented is a broad swath of American society, with diverse reasons for serving but a common devotion to comrades and country. As one nurse summed up: “Millions of Americans do the right thing. I’m just one person in that million.” Sharing America’s freedom and opportunities means sharing the risks involved in defending them.

The mothers feel an extra burden of societal guilt, but none tried to get out of their service. A sergeant with three young boys explained: “I went because I had to.

I was a soldier before I was a mom. ”Rather than presenting infallible paragons of virtue, the author faithfully records the women’s frustrations, weaknesses and fears. One admits she was barely able to function as a commander on her first Mother’s Day away from her children.

Another comes to grips with having survived an IED attack, while her companion (another woman) was killed. A third is devastated when her toddler son doesn’t recognize her when she returns home. These incidents are presented without judgment or rancor and with the acknowledgment that fighting men throughout history have dealt with these same issues.

A helicopter pilot’s reflections on having been shot down will resonate with anyone who has served in combat: “You always wonder whether you will be able to handle it if something bad happens. Well, I got a chance to find out. I feel very lucky to know that about myself.”

Should women be allowed to serve in all combat units? This book does not argue one way or another. These are simply good war stories that needed to be told. Our media-saturated culture carelessly throws the word “hero” around while true bravery in our midst goes unnoticed. This book brings the spotlight back where it belongs.

Photos from Southern California

Southern California Book Tour and Wild Fires

Oct. 20-28)

If ever there was a good time for a book burning in southern California, it was the fourth week in October 2007. Only I wasn’t there to burn books. I was there to sell books. It was a very difficult and challenging week. I had been planning this trip for three months. Still, I had to keep things in perspective because no matter how bad it was for me, I knew it was far worse for those living in southern California who had to evacuate their homes, whose homes went up in flames, and who lost family members. The wild fires represented a force far greater than all of us. There was literally nothing I could do about it except make the best of the situation.

I arrived on a Saturday and had an amazing dinner that night with Cheryl Spencer, CWO5 (retired) and Angelique Esquivel, also a Woman Marine (WM). We ate at Rainwater’s on Kettner in San Diego. I highly recommend the chocolate lasagna.

I want to thank Cheryl Spencer for being my point of contact and making sure that I got to my readings and signings okay on Sunday and Monday. Also, Cheryl and my bf in Massachusetts, Mic, helped me set up nearly every event out there. They're great people and WMs. Thanks Mic, for introducing me to Cheryl. You two are a great example of how strong WMs are, and how committed all of you are to supporting and empowering one another … and me and Band of Sisters!!

Sunday—I had fun signing books with Major Amy McGrath on the USS Midway. That evening I signed books at the Barnes & Noble at Hazard Center. There, I met Maria Edwards, president of the American Authors Association, and her family. She presented me with two awards—

2007 Golden Quill Award (military genre) from the American Authors Association
2007 Founder’s Award from the Military Writer’s Society of America

Thank you Maria and Bill!!

Monday—I was scheduled to read/sign at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot (MCRD). By then, the fires were raging, the governor was telling motorists to stay off the streets, residents were evacuating their homes, and all the military bases were sending non-essential employees home. Still, we had a modest (good) turnout at MCRD thanks to Tom, Barbara, Vic, Cheryl, and everyone else who helped to make sure the event happened. I was thrilled to meet Brigadier General Angela Salinas and to receive a challenge coin from her. It is women like her who are paving the way for the current and future band of sisters.

Tuesday—I was scheduled to read and sign at Miramar Air Station but that event was cancelled. I took the opportunity to drive to La Jolla to meet my boyfriend’s 90-year-old mother, Doris. I had planned to meet her for the first time later in the week but that meeting was going to be hectic because there would be a lot of family members around. Meeting one-on-one, over lunch, and then hot chocolate and coffee at Starbucks, gave us a little more quality time. She has been a huge supporter of me and Band of Sisters. She bought all the copies of the book at the local bookstore and suggested that the store buy more. And they did. Thanks Doris!!! Even more important was her positive attitude and enthusiasm. Those qualities got me through some rough hours.

That evening I went to Bay Books on Coronado. The island was hopping but I think there were more evacuees than residents and not much interest in buying books. Still, I loved Coronado and Bay Books, and a few interested individuals stopped by for the reading.

I was supposed to drive from Coronado to Camp Pendleton but the next day’s events at CP were cancelled due to the fires. I had already checked out of my hotel room in San Diego and even if I wanted to stay there I couldn’t because the wildfires had chased the evacuees into the city and there were no hotel rooms available. Randy, president of the San Diego area Women’s Marine Association, was kind enough to let me stay with her in La Mesa. She actually said I could stay there if the sewer and water were working. They weren’t working. So Nancy, her friend, let us stay with her. We had a great night and morning. They’re wonderful.

Wednesday—Since CP was cancelled, I headed for the desert—La Quinta, Palm Desert, … This is where Uncle Ken comes in. He is not my uncle but may as well be. He is actually my boyfriend’s uncle. Several months ago he was visiting in NC and talking about his daughter’s wedding in late October. As he talked, I thought it would be great to have the book tour the week leading up to the wedding and end with the wedding.

Uncle Ken immediately got the ball rolling to have me and pilots from Band of Sisters speak to the Old Bold Pilots (OBPs) from WW II and other wars. More than 100 showed up with spouses and other family members and friends at 7:30 a.m. to hear me, Robin Brown (former Army captain and pilot), and Major Amy McGrath (F-18 aviator) speak and sign books. It was a super event. They gave us a standing ovation.

I’m always excited anytime the women from the book meet for the first time or get together. Amy and Robin, both 32, met for the first time at OBP and seemed to hit it off. Robin came alone from Oregon. Amy came from Miramar with her father who was visiting from Kentucky.

I had a reading scheduled at the Rancho Mirage Library for that evening but I think the World Series interferred with attendance. Who am I, a Red Sox fan, to cast stones at fans who choose a Sox game over a reading?

Saturday--The wedding was absolutely wonderful. Best wishes to Wende and Michael!!

Sunday--Traveled all day. I arrived at my boyfriend’s late Sunday night to catch the last inning of the last game of the World Series. Go SOX!!!

Today I received an e-mail from someone in southern California who had planned to attend my signing at MCRD. She’s very witty. “We knew you'd light up the place when you came, but really ... that wasn't quite what we had in mind.”

I wrote back and said I might try to get out there in March 2008. She responded, “Please try not to light up the place up again. Oh wait. By March, the fires will be over and the landslides should start. If you plan your trip just right, you'll miss earthquake season all together.”

Here in NC, the only bad season is hurricane season. I’m thinking it might be easier if the folks in southern California come here—to NC—for one big signing.

Thank you to everyone who helped keep things moving along in Southern California. I really, really appreciate each and everyone of you. I couldn't have done it on my own.

xoxo,
kh

Parris Island Photos

Top 10 List from My Trip to Parris Island

10. Standing on the yellow footprints and listening to a drill instructor shout orders at me as if I were a new recruit just off the bus. Seeing the phones the recruits use to make their last call home before the start of boot camp. I don't know how they do it. I would have cried like a baby talking to my mother.

9. Attending liberty call (a ceremony held the day before graduation. Recruits see their family members for the first time in three months—no dry eyes) and graduation.

8. Eating dinner at Dockside with very cool female Marines from Fourth Battalion. With these women serving and protecting our country, I KNOW we’re in good hands.

7. Meeting Sergeant Sarah Lytle in person. She drove up from Pensacola.

6. Hearing a recruit say that she read Band of Sisters this past summer and it inspired her to become a Marine.

5. Reconnecting Marine LtCol Jessup and Air Force LtCol Polly Montgomery, C-130 pilot featured in Band of Sisters. They went to high school together at Atlus Air Force Base in Oklahoma (?) and haven’t talked since then (20+ years ago). Neither one knew that the other had joined their respective branches of the armed services, never mind that they were both lieutenant colonels.

4. Four-wheeling with Major Goyette. Goyette was an AMAZING tour guide during my visit to Parris Island. From breakfast to dinner and everything in between, she made sure we got to see as much as possible and that we got to meet as many female Marines and recruits as possible.

3. Having Chuck Taliano and Jennifer Bailey, former drill instructors, sign copies of their famous posters—We Don’t Promise You a Rose Garden.

2. Seeing Gunnery Sergeant Noel reconnect with one of her former recruits turned drill instructor.

1. Listening to the SgtMaj give fashion tips to the CO of Fourth Recruit Training Battalion.

Let me back up here for a second—The CO is NOT known for her keen fashion sense. I was sitting in the front row, between the CO and sergeant major, during a graduation ceremony. Before the ceremony started, the CO whispers to me that she has pants similar to mine. I pride myself on being somewhat fashionable, so imagine my horror … Just the night before the female Marines had given me an earful about their unstylish CO, and then she tells me that we dress alike. :) OMG. I don’t think so. She insisted. How could I argue? She’s the CO.

Maybe the SgtMaj needs to take all of us out shopping. Talbots anyone?