Her body came home but her mind didn't
I got an e-mail recently from a young female soldier who served in Iraq from 2005-06. She writes that since returning from Iraq she has had a major breakdown which has cost her her career in the service. She takes at least six pills a day to control her anxiety and mood shifts and the pain in her leg and back. She takes pills to sleep through the nightmares. Her son was five months old when she deployed. He was a year and a half old when she returned. She still can’t relate to him, her husband, and her extended family after being back for two years. Mentally, she says she’s a mess from the war. She feels alone and doesn’t know who to turn to. She says a lot happened over there in Iraq while she was patrolling and transporting military supplies up and down the roads in Iraq. Sometimes being the only female on missions was a challenge in itself. She goes on to list other challenges ... rape, assaults, suicide, and the death of her battle buddy. Her body came home but her mind didn’t.
“I go to the VA for help but they just give me medications and really don't talk to me or listen to how I am feeling. I wish I could just be normal again or have that part of me whole and complete again.”
“Everyday is a struggle for me. I have to put on a fake smile and act like everything is okay when really it's not. I'm fighting a daily war within myself.”
Anyone listening????????????????????
Please post your suggestions.
posted by Kirsten Holmstedt @ 12:56 AM
11 Comments
11 Comments:
please give her my e-mail cargosarge@hotmail.com, let her know that I will be happy to listen. She can go to a Vet Center near her also if she wants to talk to someone. Tell her she is not alone. I care and other people care too. I've been there.
Lisa
Well she already said the VA doesn't listen. That's the problem with military and VA mental health, there aren't enough people who want to put in the time to actually listen and care. I know a few people working in the VA in New York and even though they're dealing with a large number of patients, some still take the time to pay attention to the emotional wounds of war. I hear this story far too often, and as someone who has worked in Army mental health, I know how much worse this story gets. On a more positive note, I have heard good things from calling Military One Source and if she hasn't tried it yet, I would highly recommend that she should do so.
As far as my own advice, the number one thing all of us returning veterans need is a strong social support network. And I'd be honored to be a part of hers: michellewilmot@yahoo.com
Also, I have a facebook group for female combat veterans called "Lioness" http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=12567406899 She is more than welcome to join.
Tell her I am always here and will help if she wants to talk. Especially since it sounds as if we may be able to relate a lot my email is gummibear_sd@yahoo.com and we can discuss things
Ashley Pullen
Please let her know she is not alone. She doesn't have to act like everything is alright, if it is not...it is not. Sometimes just knowing that someone out there is going through the same thing, helps. The VA? Right! I'm still trying to figure our what our 'benefits' consist of...if she can't get someone there to listen, shoot one of us and email. I will talk, I will listen, I will be a shoulder for her and for anyone. There is sun on the horizon, there are people here for her... Everyone's experience is different and personal, but together we strong and can help! Reach out we are here... yolanda.mayo@usmc.mil
Who wouldn't listen!
I have sat here a few minutes thinking of how to respond. Many thoughts run thru my head but I can only say the same thing as many. There are many more like you and many of us are willing to support and listen.
The VA at times seems to make things worse. There are many of us who can relate and there is help available... though it's hard to find. A senator or congressman will help get the benefits and regular counseling you need, and if not them, the group Iraq and Afghanistan Veteran's of America (iava.org) or a county veteran's service officer may be able to help. Then again, sometimes it's easier to feel normal when you talk to fellow veterans. My email is racheljmcneill@yahoo.com. Talking, relating and feeling less alone in what you are dealing with is the best therapy.
Ladies,
the truth is that we all have trouble relating on some level. This is a part of who and what we are when we are away from the people we protect.
This is the part of the cost of the decision we made to serve. But she doesn't have to suffer alone. She doesn't have to suffer!
Please tell her to remember, the doctors, the therapists, and on some level even our families can't help unless we are ready to let them.
Unfortunately, without each other, and our shared experiences, caring ears, and empathetic (not sympathetic) hearts and minds too many of us are bogged down.
Please have her write me.
eokoreehbaah@yahoo.com
She is not alone and there is help out there for her! I too have had my share of problems adjusting and the military side of the house doesn't make it easy. I am not ashamed nor am I embaressed to say I have been in therapy for over a year and take medication for anxiety and depression since my return from a one year tour in IRAQ. Please give her my e-mail address...ncoic690@yahoo.com.
My Cell: (910)381-2793. Call anytime, day or night! Pretending like everything is okay and hiding behind a fake smile is only going to make matters worse. Whether she talks to me or someone else, she needs to talk to someone and she needs to got help now!!!
God Bless and Semper Fi
Rosie
AKA Gunny Noel
Here's my email too...SonnyDee79@yahoo.com. I'm only in the Army so long as people need me...and I'm here to listen.
Sarah Rykowski
Let her know she is not alone. Don't hold it in and just keep on a "happy face" to please others. Talk about it with others who have been there if she can. And tell her thank you for me for everything she has done for our country. I will keep her in my prayers. Last year I lost a good friend from suicide after coming home from the war with PTSD.
Liz Mc
I know it feels like a shot in the dark 99% of the time asking for help, can people really relate, to what you have had to encounter personally, never. However many of your "fellow sisters" in arms have been in similar situations and have had to come home to a total readjustment, I still get comments to this day about my moods and the way I act and it has been almost two years. I am not going to lie and say I still do not think about what I had to see and issues I had to deal with but this is why we have eachother. No man can ever put himself in a woman's shoes or say that he understands because he doesn't when you work with over 94% males, uh, I find that hard to believe. Take advantage of the women around you and use us as your "punching bag" or "venting" tools. As if the weight of the world was not enough to carry on your shoulders when you come home from a deployment getting to know your family is almost terrifying! (including the intimate part). Please do not pretend that everything is okay and think it will just go away, because it won't. Many women fear what will happen if they come forward with their fears and nightmares, but we too have lives and families that are in jeapordy if we do not have someone to turn too. Please call 850-637-5937 anytime, I have been lucky to have friends to call at the most obscene hours of the night to cry or just ask "why me?" Be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished as a woman fighting for freedom and quality of life, and do not be ashamed to fear and cringe about readjustment because you have so many women who you can reach out to and who have been there and are making it through. We are here for you....just reach out.
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